Today… I had an anxiety attack… YES, REAL ANXIETY! If you’ve never had anxiety before it’s a feeling similar to a severe nervousness compounded by heart palpitations and more…
When I figured out why I was feeling this way (and it happened at work), I realized it was a result of acceptance of reality of surgery which apparently set-in. All of a sudden my thought was “What the F*$K am I doing to myself?”
I couldn’t reach out to my family and 2 close friends who are there to support me – they would not understand. They haven’t been through this experience. Luckily, I was able to check-in with a few friends I met through this Blog, Twitter & Facebook accounts who have been through gastric bypass. I wanted to know if they ever felt this way? Was it normal?
Apparently, this is a very normal experience! The majority of pre-op patients will experience this or something similar anytime from the beginning of their liquid diet right up until immediately before anesthesia (the surgery). If you don’t feel something at some point… somethings wrong!
I wanted to share a quote that one friend shared with me by text message which calmed me down.
” If it doesn’t challenge you,
it doesn’t CHANGE you. “
This gave me time to reflect. I know that I got anxious but, if I allow the fear to take over me I can’t move forward in my life, my health and whatever else my future holds for me.
This surgery will definitely challenge me in almost all ways of my life, even areas that I’m not aware of yet. I will eat different (and test what the stomach will/not tolerate), I will build new and healthy habits, I will push myself through excercise (no matter how much it hurts), I will slowly regain my health and my strength, I will work on building myself esteem, I will build different and new relationships, I will be push out of my comfort zone, I will adjust to a new body (and the transitions that come), I WILL CHALLENGE MYSELF!!
If I do not challenge myself. I will not change. Doing things the way they were I will end up slowly killing myself. IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE!