Obsessed or Paranoid? 3 Week Surg-a-versary

Yesterday was my official 3 week surg-a-versary! Can you imagine…  it was only 3 weeks ago that I was on the operating table getting my gastric by-pass surgery? While it is such a short time ago; it feels like almost forever.

At 3 weeks I can “officially” eat “soft foods”. Now, it isn’t as bad as it sounds!  Since, I’m focusing on the proteins here are a few examples… ground chicken or ground turkey or luncheon meats from the deli (turkey, chicken, roast beef and cheese) all sliced very thin and must be low salt. I can live with this!  I actually feel like I’m eating “real food” again!  There is the normal (or typical) soft foods too… e.g., yogurt, eggs, etc.

I’m very lucky! My “pouch” (I don’t have a stomach anymore.  It’s kind of weird to say “pouch”) is tolerating foods pretty well. I’ve only had a problem with a few things. But, for the most part I’m lucky! A dinner of taco seasoned ground chicken with (fat-free) refried beans and a little shredded cheese makes for a delicious dinner. Plus, I feel like I’m a normal person. Not a person who is depriving myself.

Part of successfully losing weight with is eating healthy AND exercising! Exercising is the one area I’ve been told that I’m “obsessed” and some have said I’m “paranoid”. I don’t know… Maybe they’re both right… To some degree.  I haven’t excercized in a long time.  I never had the motivation.  But, let me explain why people think I’m “obsessed” or “paranoid”.  Like many of us heavy people out there, I’ve been on so many weight loss programs or diets. Each one has allowed me to lose a certain amount of weight and then I can’t lose anymore. And, DEFINATELY not enough weight to make an impact. Afterwards, I’d gain the weight back PLUS more weight!  That’s part of how I got to the point I am at now.

But, now….  I’m so so scared!!!!  Actually, “Truly Scared!”    You see, I went through this surgery 3 weeks ago and I’m not losing any significant weight… Or as I think, not enough to make a difference in my life. Has anyone else felt this way?  I mean, I read blogs and Facebook posts with weight loss surgery patients that have lost 30, 40 or even 50 lbs in the first few weeks! I was hoping to be one of those stories.  Sadly, I’m not one of them!

One day, I had so much anxiety that I actually called the Nursing line at my Surgeon’s Office to ask why isn’t my scale moving? I was a nervous wreck!  What am I doing wrong?  Is my surgery bad?  I mean…  I lost a total of 15 lbs at my 2 week appointment. (This doesn’t include what I lost prior to surgery.) Only FIFTEEN POUNDS? Really?! The major surgery I under went, plus the serious pain I went through in the hospital after the surgery, plus the 8 months prior to get to be approved? And really?!  Only 15 lbs? And not a pound since! Ahhhhh!!!  I’m going to cry!  What am I doing wrong?  Will I be fat forever??

I know, I should be happy, right? I shouldn’t compare myself to others, either. But, it’s so hard not to feel this way!  When I spoke with the Nurse, she assured me that my body will lose quite a bit of my goal weight. They stated that my body may still be in shock, it may not have adjusted yet and several other reasons. I don’t know how true all that is.  But the nurse assured me I wasn’t alone.  Am I paranoid? I don’t know for sure. Worried? Yes! Scared? Absolutely! I don’t want to fail at this too!

Since I got the “go ahead” to work out. That’s what I’m doing! I have a close friend who helped me pay the initial fee to get started in a gym that I really liked.  Plus this gym is so convenient to both work and home. On my first day, I meet with my free Personal trainer for a 25 minute work out and assessment.  Guess what I did?

Yup! I went into debt! I’m going to have to figure out a way to pay for this.  It’s not inexpensive!!!  But, I signed up for 1 Personal Training session per week.(Although I really I wished I could have signed up for 2 sessions a week – but that would be stupid financially on my part.). I’m automatically billed each month.

I felt I really need that one on one interaction with a knowledgeable person to push me, to coach me, to show me what I need to do and how to do the excercizes, and most of all to make me accountable for my workouts! I want results!!!!  I need to be accountable!  I need to do this!  I need to lose weight!!

Some may say I’m investing in my body and my future health. Some may say I’m really Paranoid and/or Obsessed. Maybe they are right.  By the way… I’ve been working out everyday since I signed up! I even bought a Zumba game for my daughter’s XBox (if I can’t make it to the gym).  I have all my bases covered. Right?!

Isn’t that what I should do?  What do you think?  How much weight have you lost?  Do you excercize?  What excercizes do you do?  I need to hear from you….

 

Lynn

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  1. Pingback: Ouch! My Pouch! | Lynn's Obsession

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