Are you all ready for Christmas? (or the holiday that you celebrate?)
For the first time in years, I’m actually almost done with all my shopping, including the stocking stuffer’s! The tree is up and decorations are out! Don’t faint! And, to think that I’ve completed all this with working 40 hours at my full-time job and an additional 37 hours at my “part-time” job and 2 girls living at home, and almost no sleep!
When I took a moment to really think about it. What I discovered was I have more energy than I’ve ever had in years – upon years. The energy, I believe comes from the weight that I’ve lost (the result of weight loss surgery), my working out and my body that lost a total of 69 fat lbs!
I’m still not working out on a consistent basis and IT REALLY BOTHERS ME! When I first stepped foot in the gym at a whopping 253 lbs. I hated every moment of being inside. Did I say HATE? Yes, I HATED IT. Felt like everyone was looking at the FAT person on the bike or treadmill. Everyone around me (no matter what their size) seemed so skinny. I dreaded that I couldn’t ride a stationary bike for more than 10 minutes or walk on the treadmill for more than 10-15 minutes. Today… a different story!
I’m dying to get back into the “groove”. Dying to get back to working out 5-6 days a week. Back to my trainer pushing me past my limits. Back to walking in and knowing that “I CAN DO IT”. Back to sweating so much that my cloths and hair is drenched.
This 1 or 2 days is just NOT ENOUGH! I’ve got goals… I’m hoping by working out all the time I would burn off enough fat that I will not have the arm fat that sags (when I’m thin) which is so gross – or have a stomach with all that extra gross skin that folds into your pants like may of us who have gone through weight loss surgery. GROSS! I want to believe that if I work out constantly that I can do without skin reduction surgery.
So far, I want to believe because of the 5 months of working out so hard…. my skin so far has been shrinking with my body. I DON”T WANT THAT TO STOP! (Maybe I’ll buy myself a treadmill if I get enough money back from Uncle Sam in April. ha ha)
I have so much to say today… so many different thoughts swirling in my head that I want to chat with you about. And my writing in my blog only once per week it leaves me with this week full of “stuff” in my head…. so bear with me (smile).
If you are thinking or have had gastric by-pass surgery – then you know what it takes for us to lose the weight. It’s not magic. We have to watch everything we put in our mouth! However, if we eat right – the pounds really do come off! (I believe that now.)
Eating right isn’t always easy or should I say “making the right healthy choices”. I remember before my surgery that I vowed I would never eat another chip, or bite of cake. NEVER! Never take a sip of soda again…. But, we all know, that once we get comfortable with our surgery – we need to make serious and very responsible decisions as to what we are putting into our mouths or we will become the FAT person that we once were! If you’re like me, you work damn hard at making sure your eating enough protein, veggies, no sugar, no carbs, etc. You get what I’m saying… and yes, a chip here and there.
Well, I suppose you can say that I was a little “taken back” (understatement) at this girl at my part-time job. She is this person who is too thin and wears very baggy cloths. She is always eating junk food. She smokes like a chimney (and her body/skin smells like nicotine) and always talks about how she loves going out with her boyfriend and getting drunk… how many beers she can consume at one time. By talking with her, I found out that she had gastric by-pass surgery 7 years ago. (She weighted 380 lbs before her surgery – she is at 105 now and is 5 ft 5 inches.) The worst part is… she thinks it’s funny that she can live like this.
If you haven’t had surgery… you definitely won’t understand this. You won’t understand why I was “taken back”. But, those that have had surgery… you know how hard it is to GET surgery. The millions of appointments we have had to make and keep, the millions of tests, the change in our diets that we had to do BEFORE our surgery to prove to the Dr., Insurance Company and our Nutritionists that we are serious. If you did smoke before surgery, the insurance will not approve you and quite honestly the Dr’s will not operate on you. The thought is that Weight Loss Surgery is a LIFE SAVING technique (surgery)… so if you’re smoking or have an addiction to drugs or alcohol they will not do the operation so you can become ill, develop cancer or die. The Dr’s want SERIOUS people.
And, on the other hand. All the support groups that I belong to – we all take what we eat so seriously. Heck, anyone I know who has gone through weight loss surgery is very serious about their vitamins, their eating, their water intake, keeping their weight at their goal and so on.
So, to hear that this one woman just couldn’t care less and to beat up her body after going through a life saving surgery. After doing everything she can to get to size… she throws it all away and thinks its funny? I don’t know about you – but, it just didn’t sit well with me.
I know, I’m blabbing tonight! Lots of thoughts.
I also want to mention that I read an amazing blog post on “A Bariatric Story”. Her writing had hit home with me! She didn’t post for several weeks/month or two and like many people who post on their blog, they get to a certain point and just stop. It’s frustrating if you’re a reader!
However, she shared her reason why she took so long to get back to her blog. She was dealing with her new life. (I’ve got to find the blog and give you a link to it… if you wrote it and you’re the blogger – PLEASE leave your site name!)
Her new life meaning people relating to her as almost a “normal person” (vs. a fat person). I knew exactly how she feels! As I’m getting to a point where my body looks “acceptable” people are treating me differently, viewing at me differently, checking me out, people behind the counter at stores are treating me differently, some friends (they are not my “best friends” but people we are friendly with). Are looking and judging at me differently, too.
This makes me take a step back and re visit my “new life” and who I want in my life. As a fat person, I guess we’re glad we have anyone who will be our friend. As we are becoming “normal” we are more picky. We want people to be positive, to treat us with respect, etc.
Well, I loved her blog! It was so close to where I am in my life. And, I haven’t even thought about how my new body is slowly affecting the world around me.